Thursday, September 22, 2005

Apologies to the Goose Creek Symphony

I will get to my headline momentarily but first (trust me it will get tied together...even if the segue sucks):
As many of you know, Michelle Malkin and Brian Maloney have been chronicling the woes of Air America and bring us more in the links I just provided. This is the funniest chapter yet in the pathetic saga of the Little Network that Couldn't.
Ahhh...tin-cup broadcasting is in the air. Not the usual PBS fund raisers, but a commercial for-profit radio network we know and loath, Air America. That is right, that champion pilferer of service organizations for underpriviliged children and Alzheimers patients now wants to reach into your pockets. Okay they want you to reach in yourself and give them $50 for three bumper stickers. Well, at least now the left has its own version of the PTL Club to invite the derision of of its critics. Instead of Jim and Tammy we will have Al and Randi. Actually, for $50 I would want nothing less than an autographed copy of Al Franken's partnership agreement that he never signed (So he says despite the copy that was uncovered a few weeks back).
When I was about 13 or 14 a group calling themselves The Goose Creek Symphony had its first and only hit. A little ditty called, "Oh Lord, Won't You Buy Me a Mercedes-Benz". It is the plaintiff cry of a nere-do-well asking favors of God with a sense of entitlement:


Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes- Benz
My friends all drive Porches
I must make ammends
I worked hard all my lifetime
No help from my friends
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes- Benz

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV
Dialing for Dollars
is trying to find me
I wait for delivery
each day until three
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town
I'm counting on you, Lord
Please don't let me down
Show me you love me
and buy the next round
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town


You get the picture. Now let's play with the lyrics a bit (and you will soon see the reason for the apology).


Oh [fill in whatever deity], won't you buy me a ton of air mins
My friends all have real jobs
I must make ammends
I can't beat Rush Limbaugh
Using string and two tins
Oh [fill in whatever deity], won't you buy me a ton of air mins

Oh [fill in whatever deity], won't you buy me an hour of Al Franken
We're doing so badly
I drink til I'm stankin'
He denies he's a partner
but honesty he's lackin
Oh [fill in whatever deity], won't you buy me an hour of Al Franken

Oh [fill in whatever deity], won't you buy me a ticket to Brazil
No more Boys and girls Clubs
will let my fingers in the till
you know what I'll need
when they find out it's just a big shill
Oh [fill in whatever deity], won't you buy me a ticket to Brazil

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